One of the reasons I keep a blog is emotion, both positive and negative. Neither and either.

Some people say love is overrated, some people say hate is necessary to know what love is. I say emotion is overrated, I say hate is unnecessary.

I started out as an angst-y teenage blogger. I lost my father too soon, I wasn’t prepared. No one in the family was, but they all had it easier. They spent more time with my dad than I did for I was the youngest in the family. Some relatives would say that he would be with me all the time, and that he would guide me from wherever he is… but that’s not entirely true. Sure, I’m reaping the fruit of his hard work, I was not exactly a peasant when he left, but what we went through was a lot tougher.

“Friends” disappeared one-by-one, people who “adored” us became fleeting enemies in no time, and our lives did a 180. We were left with no choice but to deal with the fact that life would never be the same.

They say that life has its ups and downs, and I agree. But the hard truth is that most of us spend a lot more time down there than up. And then there are the lucky ones who have it all… and then some who spend most of their lives up but still whines and complains. Such bitches.

While the rest of you probably cried and smiled their way through all these “emotions”, I decided to shut it all off. My dad dying early was just the tip of the iceberg for me. It was a series of unfortunate events, it really was. And I just had to be independent, and composed, and possibly, numb. Of course I feel, I just choose not to do anything about it. When the universe conspires to make me suffer, I live. When people around me spread hate, I live. When everything around me spins and changes, I live.

This world waits for no one, it’s not gonna wait for you to keep yourself together after a fall. It will continue rotating and revolving. It will continue with or without you.

I am no longer the angst-y teenage blogger who started a blog out of hate and love. I am just a blogger who has safely kept emotions who would probably burst out if left unwritten.